One of the fun things I do besides real estate investing is teaching at a local community college. The other day I noticed one of my students sitting in the hallway looking quite distressed. Concerned, I asked if there was a problem. The student noted that they were just overwhelmed and feeling stressed, that they did not know where to turn or what to do. “That is completely natural.” I said. “We have all felt that way at one time or another.” “Did you ask for help?” The response to my question was something I see way too often with students and real estate newbies alike. It was a half-hearted “No.”
An Opportunity
I saw this encounter as an opportunity, an opportunity to pass on a lesson that we all have to learn. The lesson is that everyone will need help at some point in their lives and the best way to get the help you need is to ask. Asking for help should be something that comes naturally. To some people it is. But I think for many of us, asking for help can be a difficult thing to do.
Why is asking for help so difficult? There are many reasons.
We do not want to appear stupid.
We do not want to appear fragile.
Our egos must be upheld.
Embarrassment.
We are afraid of being judged by others.
We do not know who to ask.
In sum, we are human.
I used this opportunity to explain to this young student that the smartest and most successful people in the world understand that they have to ask for help. They know that they cannot do everything alone. They know that they would not have achieved success without the help of others. Asking for help is what the best and brightest do.
Robert Kiyosaki, a person whose writings have definitely helped me once said; “One of the biggest defects in life is the inability to ask for help.” And I think he is absolutely right.
Fear Keeps Us From Asking
We as real estate investors, we as humans, have to get over our inability to ask for help. It can be hard to do however because of fear. Fear of appearing stupid or weak and of being judged. Sure there are some that may feel that way but most people are more than willing to help. In fact, I think people generally appreciate being asked for their help. It makes them feel wanted and important. It makes them feel like they are able to do something positive in this world.
On the other hand, those of us who are more experienced and can perhaps offer help have to demonstrate that we are willing to give it. Be humble and inviting, kind and never degrading. Look past the mistakes and work towards helping people overcome them. Let others know we are available to help. We can do that by just repeating the message “I can help.” over and over again.
Wise people ask for help. Do not be afraid or embarrassed to ask for it. Most people want to help you be successful. Look for and actively seek help. Find someone at your local real estate investors association who has been through what you are going through. You just may be surprised at how helpful others can be.
