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10 Things Successful People Never Do by James Altucher

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Here is another great article by James Altucher. 

Do you under promise and over deliver?  Well perhaps you should not.

Pleas read on below.

 

 

 

 

I have done all of these ten things and seen the results. I was very unhappy.

Before I can give you the rules I must establish my credentials.

I have started about 20 businesses and failed at 17 of them. I have failed as a husband, as have many.

I hope I don’t fail as a parent but certainly some people would look at my track record and say, “yes, yes indeed, he failed as a parent.”

I’m not the best boyfriend. One time I broke up with a girlfriend while I was on the elevator up to meet her her in her apartment. I just hit the down button and never spoke to her again.

But I also have had a few successes.

HERE IS WHAT FAILURES DO:

1) THEY BELIEVE IN THE WORD ‘FAILURE’

We don’t live long enough to fail. Like if a planet is around for 4 billion years and produces no life-forms, I would call that planet a failure.

Everything else is an experiment.

Thomas Edison never said, “I failed 10,000 times before I made a lightbulb.”

The guy was in a LABORATORY. He experimented. And now everyone gets into “failure porn” and says “I’m a failure”. That’s BS!

John Coltrane didn’t fail when he couldn’t stay in Miles Davis’ quartet.

He was experimenting with Miles Davis style but ultimately, with 20 years of practice and study under his belt, he knew that only his unique style could survive and flourish in his own quartet.

He experimented, learned from the experiment and moved on.

HERE is the key on experimenting:

THE MORE MISTAKES YOU MAKE THE BETTER YOU GET.

Why is this? It’s brain science: when you make a mistake, you repeat and repeat until you get it right.

This repetition is “practice”. Practice makes perfect.

People who just get it right the first time (e.g. when I sold my first business) never learn all the subtleties you learn with practice.

So they get fooled into thinking that “luck” equals “good” when actually “mistakes + repetition = good”.

2) FAILURES “UNDER PROMISE AND OVER DELIVER.”

Everybody is told a lie: to be a success you have to under promise and over deliver.

This is the worst form of lack of integrity. The idea is that you are “safe”. Let’s say you under promise and you under deliver.

You think, incorrectly, “hey, at least I have my integrity intact”.

No, you have nothing intact. You are just like everyone else. There are 3,000,000,000 employees on the planet and they are all under promising and most of them are under delivering.

You are just like them.

You have to: OVER PROMISE AND OVER DELIVER

Over-promise sets you apart from the people who under-promise. 
Over-deliver sets you apart from people who just delivered.

It’s not that hard to do both. (It’s easy to slightly over promise and slightly over deliver because nobody else is doing it).

Try it and you will see the results. it’s amazing.

3) PEOPLE WHO FAIL SEEM TO HAVE A LOT OF ACCIDENTS

They left their important project on the subway. They are sick.

Their dog got sick. They broke up with their girlfriend or boyfriend. There’s a way to minimize accidents and it’s called health.

You can’t succeed if you are sick in bed. You can’t succeed if you spent all night the night before reading your wife’s emails because you can’t trust her.

You can’t succeed if you aren’t grateful for being given at least the chance to be something better than what you are now.

When someone consistently has a lot of excuses for why something has gotten done, I know they are not ready for the next step.

When I was young, I was the man with the excuses. I had them every day. I was a master of them. But I fooled nobody. And so I was given less opportunities for success.

And you know what: I was right! If I’m reading my wife’s email and she’s cheating on me, I deserve to fail.

So here’s what you do: You can’t be perfect.

But every day:

  • Move, Eat, Sleep…Well
  • Improve your relationships (Call a friend, surprise a spouse, be kind to your kids)
  • Be creative (only you know how to do this but at least write 10 random ideas a day)
  • Be grateful for where you are. (and this is the “Now” that people brag about)

4) FAILURES DON’T TAKE IT THE NEXT LEVEL

Bobby Fischer always took it to the next level. Nobody ever thought he was the greatest talent in chess history. He probably had average talent.

But he always said, “how can I take chess to the next level”.

When he was a kid he learned Russian so he could read the Russian chess magazines.

After that, he never lost a US Championship. He was 13 years old.

He was so much better than the Americans he even stopped playing in the US championship.

And he took it to the next level right up until the world championship.

For the first time in his life he played a different first move.

His opponent, the older world champion had ONLY prepared for the one move Fischer ever did. So Fischer came up an entire new opening with a new first move.

Gandhi took it to the next level. Every revolution before him was done with violence.

He experimented. He had a vision. He felt that 300 milllion Indians didn’t need to do violence.

He was right, despite everyone disagreeing with him.

Take the advice of everyone around you, and then take it to the next level. Practice taking it to the next level (because at first you won’t be good).

Come up with your ideas but then think, “What has never been done before” (it’s not true that everything has been done before. Only shadows of things have been done before).

But do it over and over again and you will be THAT PERSON that knows how to take things above and beyond.

5) FAILURES TAKE ALL THE CREDIT

Failures are insecure. When they do their little stupid thing at work they want the credit.

Give others credit all the time. Then you are the source of credit. Just like a bank.

When people want more credit, who do they go to? They go to you! Just like they would go to the bank when they need more money.

Credit is like currency. If you’re the bank, then in the long run you will end up with all the real credit.

 

Read the other five here.

The Day After The Fire, What’s A Landlord To Do?

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I had a major fire at one of my properties back in late 2014. I wrote about the first evening after getting the call here. In this post I want to talk a little about the day after.

The first chance I would have to see the extent of the damage is the day after.   I had been to the property the night before, right after the fire, but it was dark, the utilities had been shut off and there simply was a lot of commotion and confusion. I really could not tell much. From the front, it actually did not look that bad.   I knew it was bad but, as I left that night I remember thinking that perhaps the damage would not be that bad. I was totally wrong.

The property actually did not look so bad from the front.

The fire started in the upstairs apartment in the back of the property after one of the tenants threw what he thought was an unlit cigarette in the trash. That was the fire’s point of origin. When I got to the property on the next day, the roof over this area was completely gone. The fire had burned right through it. From this point of origin you could see where the fire traveled as it sought out more fuel and oxygen. It was really interesting to see actually. It flowed along and burned out most of the rafters in the attic. It traveled along the ceiling from the bedroom into the kitchen and living areas, melting everything plastic on its way. As you got farther and farther away from the point of origin, damage from actual fire was less and less. But the damage still continued on.

The back was where the real damage was.

I never really realized how much damage smoke can cause. There must have been a ton of smoke as the fire was raging and I now understand why smoke is what actually kills you. It had simply been everywhere and must have been overpowering. There was a thick layer of black soot on everything. It was on the ceilings, the walls, the floors, on every piece of furniture and every fixture. And the smell was overpowering. Anything the smoke had touched was ruined.

Then there was the water. I think the fire department pumped a good bit of the Mississippi River on my tri-plex that night to get the fire put out. That water caused as much damage as the fire did. The fire was on the second level and thus that was where most of the water was pumped. And since water responds well to gravity, it naturally rained in on the two units on the ground floor. Loads of soaked sheetrock and plaster had collapsed or were about to. The wood floors were just beginning to bend and buckle. Clothes, furniture and other tenant keepsakes were all ruined.

Water, water everywhere!

Finally, there was the damage the fire department caused as they put out the fire. Doors are kicked in and forced open. Smoldering wood, furniture, mattresses, etc was all tossed out all over the yard and doused with water. The place was a mess.

Suffice it to say the tri-plex was a total loss. It was going to take a major rehab job to get it back in operation.

So what to do now?

First, secure the property. You have to protect yourself from liability and protect what remains of the tenant’s belongings. As I said doors were forced open. Locks and door jams were ripped away. There was no way to simply lock up anymore. Pad locks were bought and installed to keep people out of what was a hazardous building.

Second, salvage what you can. The AC condensers, water heaters and some of the appliances were still in good shape and could be used elsewhere. So I had my crews immediately remove them and place them in storage. If I had left them there, thieves would have been on the scene very quickly.

Third, I called my insurance company and got that ball rolling. This was a major disaster and I was going to need the insurance to help rebuild.

Finally, we got with our tenants and made sure they understood the situation. There are some legal issues here that have to be addressed. But I’ll write more about that in a future post.

 

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Home Prices 2007 to 2015

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The change in home prices 2007 to 2015. How is your neck of the woods doing?  There is a lot of “green” out there.

Can A Landlord Make A Tenant Move For Any Reason?

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Non-payment of rent is just one of many reasons a landlord may want their tenant to move out. Perhaps they want to upgrade the property.   Perhaps they want to sell the property. Or perhaps they just do not like the tenant and the drama they bring to your business. So, if you fall into one of these categories, can you as a landlord make a tenant to move for any reason at all, whatever it might be? It’s a good question, one that you should know the answer to. However, like with all questions related to being a landlord, the answer is not very simple.

In a nutshell, the answer is “it depends”. It depends on two items.

First and foremost it depends on the lease you signed with your tenant. A lease is a contract and usually has a specified time period as one of its clauses. Many times that time period is for one year but it can be anything, such as a day, a week, a month or a decade. If you have a year lease with a tenant, you cannot make that tenant move out before the end of that year unless they are breaking the terms of the lease. Not paying rent is the best example of breaking terms.

But suppose you want to upgrade the property and would prefer the units be vacant, can you make them move out before their lease is up? No, you cannot. You really cannot make the tenant leave if they are fulfilling the terms of the lease before one year is up. But once that year is over, then you can ask them to move, and they have to.

With a shorter tem lease, say one that is a month to month term, landlords of course have a lot more flexibility. The lease basically expires at the end of every month, so a landlord can choose not to renew, effectively forcing their tenant to move.

The second item to answer the question is your state and local laws. Here in Memphis Tennessee you can pretty much just tell the tenant that you are not renewing the lease at the end of its term. You do not have to give any reason. This is effect in the same thing as asking them to move for any reason at all. But not all state and local laws are as generous as those here in Tennessee. Some states are much more restrictive and some cities, such as New York with rent control, can make things really difficult. So you need to know and understand what your rights as a landlord are in your local jurisdiction.

So, can you make your tenant move? Yes, but it will depend on the term of your lease, where you are in that term and what your local laws are. Can you make your tenant move at anytime you want for whatever reason you want? No. Your tenant will have had to break a major clause of your lease before you can force them out. And then it is generally only with a court order.

What’s In A Company Name?

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I examine the property transactions for my local jurisdiction every day. It is all a part of knowing and understanding my market. By doing this, I see what is being paid for properties, who is financing them, along with who is buying and selling. All good information I think you would agree.

One of the more interesting things to me is the names of some of the LLC’s, partnerships and other entities I see conducting various real estate transactions. Whether or not you should use one of these entities is a discussion for another time. But, if you choose to use an LLC or some other types of business entity, I want you to think very carefully about what you name it.

Why?

Two reasons I believe. One, a name can say a lot. Second, people will infer a lot, either right or wrong, from a name.

Let’s look at a couple of examples.

My management company is called Kevron Property Management. Such a name has several good qualities. The name states what the company does.   Plus, once people meet me or my wife Terron, they come to understand the Kevron part. “Oh, you combined Kevin and Terron,” they will say. “That’s cool.” People like a husband and wife team and like that we were creative with our company name. Thus, our company name says who we are and what we do and that is a positive to most.

Property management is pretty straightforward however. What if you flip houses, or fix up properties for retail buyers? What type of name would you select then? Here is a chance for you to be really creative and use your company name to help you achieve your company goals. However, I see many names that are perhaps questionable and not conveying the best image.

Take the hypothetical name, T and L Investments, LLC. T and L Investments, LLC does retail flips and holds a few rental properties and was started by two friends, Tom and Larry. The name they chose seems pretty good on the surface. But what might a retail buyer think when looking at one of their homes? What might a prospective tenant think? Perhaps, just perhaps, they might think that these “flippers” are ripping us off. Or perhaps a tenant might think you are a rich landlord that can afford the damage I will cause. I am not saying this always happens, but folks can read a lot into a name. And it simply might cost you a sale or a good tenant.

Instead, what if they had named their company something like Quality Homes? The connotation here is different. They provide quality. They are not investors. It might seem silly but people really do think this way. That is why I think it is so important for you to give some thought to what is in a name. While “More Money Properties” might be what you are really after, toning it down a bit to MM Properties might actually work better for you in the long run.

Thoughts on what’s in a name? Let me hear from you with your comments.

Millennials – Our Future Tenants

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Millennials, those born between 1980 and 2000 are coming of age and about to move into your apartment or buy your house. Do you wonder what they are like, how they communicate and what is important to them? You should. For one thing, this group is huge, larger than the baby boomers, and they will soon dominate the market place. Smarterlandlords understand these changing demographics and look for ways to tune their business to be more receptive to this sizable generation. This infographic is a good place to start to learn more about the Millennial generation.

Don’t Yell At Your Tenants – Even If They Deserve It

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Yelling at tenantsEver get really angry with a tenant? I have. I have been so mad that I just want to yell, scream or even worse! However, if I let those emotions get the better of me (and I have), it usually does not end up well. Yelling at your tenants and making them mad at you is never a smart thing to do. Yes it will feel good yelling “Just pay the rent!” or “Why did you paint the walls black!” but you need to stop and think for a minute.

What is going to happen after you leave the property?

You will have someone who is very angry at you and is living in your property. Perhaps they will calm down and do nothing. On the other hand, they might decide to move (which may not be a bad thing) and leave you with an apartment to rehab and a vacancy to fill. Or even worse, they might want to seek revenge, like this guy that caused several thousand dollars in damage when he tried to set a booby trap for his landlord.   At least he was caught, convicted and did a bit of jail time. But that rarely happens.

Almost every landlord has a story or two about a tenant destroying their property after angry words were exchanged. The damage can run from holes punched in walls, to cement being poured in toilets, to fire being set to carpets. It usually only takes one such episode for most landlords to learn that yelling at their tenants is just not worth it. They can simply do too much damage or cause you too much hassle.

That does not mean you cannot be angry at them and take steps to enforce your rules or your rights. An eviction for example is simply going to be an ugly and anger inducing process as far as the tenant is concerned. So there are times that you cannot avoid making your tenant angry at you. But you need to do these things in a non-confrontational and professional manner. If you feel like you are going to lose your cool, leave the area or hang up the phone and return to the issue when you have had time to cool down. Trust me, it may not feel good at the moment, but you and your property will be glad you did.

 

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Filling Out A 1099? Get A W-9 First

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It’s a new year. And while a new year can bring many good things, it also brings thoughts of something looming right around the corner, April 15 and income taxes. I despise taxes as much as the next person. But I despise even more all of the paperwork that goes along with them. Unfortunately, if you are going to be a landlord, you are not going to be able to avoid some of this paper work, especially if you hire folks to perform various services for you.

You see, the IRS has basically made us their enforcers. Anyone that we pay over $600 to in a calendar year has to be provided a 1099 (with some exceptions for corporations). That means your yard guy, the lady that cleans your apartments, the plumber, your electrician all have to be provided a 1099 with a copy sent to the IRS.

I have written about 1099 forms before, so I will not go into that again. But when you go to fill out those 1099’s, especially if it is the first time you have to do it, you may realize that you do not have all of the information you need. Because the 1099 form not only requires you to report the amount you paid someone, but you also have to report their name, address and social security or tax ID number. Where do you get that information?

You get it by using a W-9 form. The W-9 form is called the “Request for Tax Payer Identification Number and Certification” form and can easily be downloaded from the IRS website here. The W-9 form is a very important form to get completed by anyone (with some exceptions of course) who does work for you. The W-9 form requires a service provider to give you all of the information you need to properly fill out and send a 1099 form.

I require anyone that I have hire to do work for me complete a W-9 form before any work even gets started. In fact, it is usually a part of our contract signing process (You do use contracts with you contractors right?). In this way, I am assured I have the information I need so I do not run afoul of the IRS. Once you have this form, keep it on file, FOREVER. Why? Well, you really never know if the information you have been provided is correct or if they are committing tax fraud. If they are committing tax fraud, you can show the IRS the information you were provided and then you will usually be in the clear. But if you do not have a properly filed out form on file, your troubles may escalate.

What if someone refuses to fill out a W-9? Well, I usually will not hire them. But you can hire them if you want to. When it comes to paying them however you have to withhold 30% of the amount they are to be paid and send it in to the IRS. Much like an employer does with a portion of an employee’s paycheck. It will them be up to the person you hired to get that 30% as a tax refund if it is due to them. What about the W-9? You can simply write refused on it and file it away. But personally, I would stay away from such folks. No need to be on the IRS’ radar screen anymore than you already are.

Remember, I am not a CPA, I am just a landlord with some experience. Please ask your own professional advisers for tax advice.

The Worst Things To Do During Negotiations

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Negotiation is a huge part of the landlording business. Landlords have to negotiate with tenants, with property owners, with bankers, with the tax man…with everyone. It is hard to be a good negotiator, but it is a skill that can and should be learned and constantly refined.

James Altucher has negotiated some very big deals. I’m talking deals worth millions and billions of dollars. He wrote an interesting blog post not too long ago on negotiation that I thought I would share. It is full of little gems and insights like:

“NEVER WORRY ABOUT WHAT IS IN SOMEONE ELSE’S POCKET.

Let other people do well. Then you will do well.”

And

“If you negotiate with a loser, you lose.”

Check out the full post below and check out his blog at jamesaltucher.com for many more thoughtful posts.

 

The Ten Worst Things You Can Do In A Negotiation

by James Altucher 

The best negotiator I knew always acted like an idiot. He acted so well that I thought he was really stupid. I also thought at the time that he was my best friend.

That was probably an act also. Just two years later he stopped talking to me forever.

I ran into him in the street the other day. He smiled and shook my hand. I felt warm, like he liked me again. Then he was gone.

Negotiation is first about warmth. Two sides deciding if they want to be friends with each other. If they want to be in the same tribe, fighting side by side in this harsh world.

After that it’s about vulnerability. Making yourself into the type of person someone else wants to take care of.

This is not a mystery. When a baby is born the negotiation begins. It lasts until at least the baby is an adult.

My oldest turns 16 tomorrow. She negotiates with me every day. I love her. But maybe that’s what makes her such a tough negotiator.

I’m not so good at realizing where all the boundaries are.

Between the outer me and the inner me. Between the me that always loves her and the me that wants her to love me back. 

I guess that’s how I am with everyone. If they don’t love me back, I’m afraid, I’ll be less happy.

If I’m honest where the boundaries are, then we can begin to set up the rules. Then love begins.

Tricky!

—

I’ve probably seen over 1000 negotiations in action. I’ve probably been directly involved in 100 or so.

Every day life is a negotiation. I’m not talking in this post about the every day negotiations although the same rules apply. I’m talking about negotiations where careers and money and reputations and maybe love is at stake.

For me, that latter is the hardest. So take my advice with a grain of salt. In fact, I’d rather tell you all the ways in which I’ve messed up in negotiations. Because this is really the classroom I learned in.

A) IF YOU HAVE A SMALL LIST OF TERMS, YOU LOSE.

Let’s say you are selling a company. One side is usually focused on the final price. That side will henceforth be called “the loser”.

Make your list bigger: what are the terms of the non-compete, what is the length of the earn out, what are the salaries of the new top executives, what are the perks, what are the options packages.

Or if it’s a job: what are the responsibilities, what are similar people being paid, what is the path to higher promotions, what are the details of health, vacation, moving expenses, reviews, etc.

The side with the bigger list can give up the nickels for the dimes to the loser.

B) IF YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH SLEEP, YOUR WILLPOWER WILL BE ZERO.

Carl Icahn, one of the best investors in the world, uses this technique. 

He schedules his negotiations for the early evening.

Our peak mental ability (according to Dan Ariely, author of Predictably Irrational, and many other books) is approximately 2 hours after we wake up until about 4 hours after we wake up.

And then throughout the day, our willpower slowly leaks away until we sleep again. That’s why we watch TV and eat donuts at night rather than when we first wake up.

So Carl Icahn will sleep until 4pm and then go to the negotiation at 6pm. 

On the other side of the table are exhausted lawyers who have been working all day.

BAM! Who do you think will win that negotiation.

C) MOST PEOPLE THINK SHORT-TERM. BE THE VISIONARY AND YOU WIN.

Applied Semantics didn’t want to sell to Google in 2001. They had raised some money and thought they could make it.

A few months earlier I had made the mistake of turning them down when they were raising money. “The search engine business is dead!” said the greatest prophet of modern times.

Me.

Larry Page told the CEO of Applied, “I’m not getting off the phone until you say yes”.

So Applied Semantics sold themselves in exchange for 1% of Google. ONE PERCENT.

This was before Google went public. So it was a total unknown what those shares would be worth. Larry Page had the vision of where they would be.

Applied Semantics became the Adsense division of Google. Which now accounts for 99% of Google’s revenues.

Are they upset? Shouldn’t they have sold for more?

Of course not. They sold for over a billion in value and created the end goal of making one of the best companies in the world.

You can only get rich once. Don’t worry so much about maximizing your percentage of something. One percent of $250 billion is better than 100% of nothing, as the saying goes.

—

I’m going to take a break for a second and say something that has saved me considerable stress.

NEVER WORRY ABOUT WHAT IS IN SOMEONE ELSE’S POCKET.

Let other people do well. Then you will do well.

Ok, back to what you shouldn’t do in a negotiation.

—

D) DON’T SAY NO.

I say this even though I wrote the book, “The Power of No”. What I really mean here is, bury your NO inside of a YES.

I was negotiating with one company once. They wanted me to be an advisor. I said, “no”. But not like that. What I really said was, “You have a great company and I am happy to give advice.”

What a great way to say no! They kept calling. They really wanted me. I said, “Here’s what you should do without me” and I totally laid out the plan they should do. I did it for free. That was another way of saying “no”.

This made them want me as an advisor even more. Eventually they offered enough that I said, “yes”. They followed my advice exactly. The advice that I had already given for free.

There’s a well-known improv technique of “Yes, and…”

In improv, the first performer creates the premise. The second performer can’t change it or reject it, he can only build on it.

In a negotiation if someone says, “well, you’re only worth $1 because you have X” you can say, “yes, and we also have Y so let’s take that into consideration.”

Suddenly your value is higher because you didn’t start a fight. You agreed and added.

E) MANY PEOPLE NEGOTIATE WITH THE WRONG MATH.

This is the part many people don’t get right and it’s hard to explain. I’ll take a simple example. I don’t know if the negotiation took place this way but it describes what I mean.

Why did Facebook buy Instagram for $1 billion. Instagram had 11 employees and zero revenues.

On that basis, maybe Instagram was worth…nothing. Or close to it.

But maybe the negotiation went something like this: Instagram: Let’s agree to a formula first on how we should value our company.

Facebook: Err…Ok.

Instagram: Forget about our revenues for a second. But let’s just assume we can earn $X for every user you have (call that number $Y). Pay us $X * Y.

Facebook: Err.Ok.

Instagram probably then showed how they could add $1 in value for every customer Facebook had. Facebook has a billion users. So a billion dollars.

Come to the negotiation with your formula. Know how to fill in the variables before the other side does. Every good negotiator does this.

The reason I know this? Because this is how I’ve lost many negotiations to good negotiators. I’ve had very good mentors on this one aspect of negotiation.

Because we all negotiated the formula, but not the price, in advance, then everyone has already said “Yes” to something and they basically have to stick with it.
(Well, they don’t have to. But it’s high stakes and you don’t want to seem like you don’t live up to your word.)

F) IF YOU HOPE FOR ONLY ONE OUTCOME, YOU NEVER GET IT. 

I really wanted my company, Stockpickr, to be bought by Google. I threw everything I could into the basket. I would send them love notes in the middle of the night.

Seriously, I was in love with the woman doing the negotiating.

I didn’t have a technical team was the problem. We built the whole site for a few thousand dollars. I had one partner. We had 99% margins on our revenues but Google likes technical teams.

Oh well.

I then focused on getting alternatives. I called AOL, Yahoo, Reuters, Forbes. Then thestreet.com bought us.

Sometimes people write me and say, “I sent my ten ideas to my favorite company but they haven’t called back. Should I call them again?”

That’s the wrong question. The right question is: “What’s the next 100 companies I should write to?”

It’s no secret that being able to walk away from a negotiation is the best starting point in a negotiation.

G) SMARTER PEOPLE LOSE.

This is what I like to say: you guys are the experts at this, we’ve just been focused on building our product, company, art, whatever.

Then I say, “if you were me, what would you ask for?”

I ask them advice. Because they are the experts. It’s not a lie.

If you are applying for a job with someone more senior than you, why not ask the more senior guy for advice? He knows more than you.

Very often they give very good advice.

H) IF YOU NEGOTIATE WITH A LOSER, YOU LOSE. 

If two sides are negotiating, you need at least one champion for what you are doing on the other side.

One time I was working with a company and GE offered us a billion dollars for the company. Yes, a BILLION.

They laid out the time frame. “The deal will be closed by November 15” said the highest ranking person in the room from GE.

I went back to the CEO of the company I was advising and told him that. 

He said, “Who were you talking to?” I told him.

He said, “100% chance this deal doesn’t happen”. 

But they offered! I told him. They actually made an offer.

“Trust me. No way. There’s no real champion for you on the other side who is close to being a decision maker. She is 5 rungs below the decision maker and she’s your only champion.”

And he was right. That deal did not happen. They found a better way to get what they wanted for 1/200 of the price.

You can only cross the bridge to the other side if someone strong is there holding out their hand to pull you in.

I) THE DEAL IS NOT THE FINAL DEAL. DON’T RELAX! 

People think when they agree on a deal, that’s the end of the negotiation. 

I’m sorry to say, that is only the beginning of the negotiation.

There’s agreeing, there’s signing, and there’s closing.

The final two steps are equally important and everyone assumes they are easy.

They aren’t. They are excruciatingly painful. The honeymoon period lasts for two days after you agree. Then there can be another six months to go.

Agreeing is easy. “I’ll buy your product or business for $X.”

Signing a deal involves all the little things that are the nickels and dimes (see above).

Closing a deal means both sides delivering everything they represented in a deal. 

At each stage of this is buyer’s remorse and seller’s remorse and often things have to be renegotiated.

So every day after agreement, make it a point to stay in touch, be friends, keep focusing on the vision (particularly with the champion for your deal on the other side), have just as much energy to close all the details, keep in touch with the lawyers to make sure paperwork is going through, keep working on the alternatives (since the negotiation is not done til it’s DONE), and so on.

So many deals fall apart after agreement. You don’t need this pain in your life.

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LOVE IS A NEGOTIATION.

Taking another break here in the post. Please forgive me for not laying it out all perfect.

When I used to go on a first date I was both scared and excited. I’d get excited first, “she wants to date me!” And then I’d get scared. “Ugh, what do I do now?”

I’d literally do homework for the date. I’d find out her interests and read books on them. I’d watch comedy beforehand. I’d think of things to say and questions to ask. I’m not saying preparation is bad.

One time I was an expert on Kaballah. Another time I had to be an expert on Al Gore (long story). Another time I had to bribe the counter girl to pretend she knew me before my date arrived.

I’d be too scared to show my real self so I’d have to get her to like my fake self long enough for me to feel comfortable showing the real me.

Sometimes that never happened. In many cases I never had a real me. I was always jumping through hoops to keep the fake me going. I had to keep bribing the counter girl everytime we went for yogurt.

This is the difference between agreeing on a deal (the first date) and closing (trust, love, real compassion). This is a problem I’m afraid I will always have. I hope I am getting better bit by bit.

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J) MOST DEALS DON’T WORK OUT.

You agree, you sign, you close, and STILL it’s not the end.

Don’t be the guy (or woman) who falls apart now that all the energy of the deal has been expended.

It’s a negotiation and a deal because NOW there is work to do. There is a common vision to be achieved. There is a fantasy that must be made into reality.

Be that person. Be the one who delivers. You have a new baby in your hands as the result of this negotiation.

Now the hard work begins. Raise that baby to be a good adult.